On the way to ‘Nothingness’!

One fine day, I updated my Whatsapp status as “On the way to Nothingness!”

Then my friend called me and asked, “Did you say Nothingness?”

I said Yes.

Then my friend said that who wants to go to ‘nothingness’? When you are telling that there is nothing, who would approach that place?

Then I replied, this is not the nothingness that you observe in the outside world, but rather in the Internal world.

I continued, “this is “Nothingness” in its purest form! “

And believe me, when you get there, you will get everything! Because, it’s where everything originates and culminates.

My friend said that it sounds interesting!

I said, Let’s first understand what is ‘nothingness’ and then we can dive deep into it.

There is a small village in the middle of a lush green forest in Southern India. The village is situated in the lap of nature, on the bank of a small river, in a valley surrounded by hills.

It is a beautiful place beyond imagination. The presence of flora and fauna exemplifies its picturesque beauty.

There lives a few families belonging to an indigenous tribe in harmony with nature. They are so pure at heart, just like a flowing river. They set up a beautiful temple of Lord Shiva on the bank of the river. A couple lives there in a small hut. They have an enormous devotion to Lord Shiva and visit the temple everyday. Their day starts with collecting flowers, performing abhishekam and offering flowers and fruits to Shiva linga. No day passes in their life, without visiting the temple.

After a few years, the couple is blessed with a baby boy. The child is pretty with a bright smile on his face and he radiates joy all the time. He spends most of his time playing and observing the nature around him. As he is the only child in the family and there are no elders at home, their parents carry him all the time when they go out. So, the child has been visiting the temple along with his parents since his birth. The little boy has no idea why his parents visit the temple everyday and pour water over the elliptical rock, later known as Linga and offer flowers, fruits, etc. Initially, he thinks that they like this rock, so keeps it clean by washing everyday with water and adorning it with flowers. As he is so young, he can not feel the devotional connection with Shiva Linga as experienced by their parents.

One day, the boy asks his parents, “why do you guys pour water over the piece of rock everyday and decorate it with flowers?” Then his mother tells him that it is a symbol of Lord Shiva and warns him not to call it a piece of rock. As the boy visits the temple everyday, it has become his morning ritual too like his parents’. After a few years, he develops a deep rooted connection with the Shiva Linga. Even after his parents leave the temple, he sits there for hours together and just stares at the Shiva Linga. Unknowingly, the boy develops immense devotion for Lord Shiva. As he continues to stare at the Linga for longer periods of time, he observed that his view often gets disturbed when there is movement of people across the temple. So, he thinks of creating an image of Linga in his mind and looks at it with his eyes closed. He feels that this idea can solve his problem. So, he does it as planned. But, this time, it is even worse. He keeps getting many thoughts at random, which are completely unrelated to Shiva Linga. Then he feels that the image of Linga is buried in those thoughts. But, he does not want to leave this idea as he thinks that it may work with practice. So, he sits still in the temple in a corner and closes his eyes imagining the Shiva Linga. Slowly, as he improves, he is able to focus on Shiva Linga for a longer period of time. Eventually, he finds some joy in sitting still without any movement. While his friends are playing on the bank of the river, he chooses to sit still with his eyes closed. As the young soul is hungry for divinity, he starts the process of seeking at an early age.

As he is surrounded by natural beauty around his house, he finds it interesting to stare at a flower, a leaf, the sky, the hill in front of his house for extended periods of time. He notices that he is deriving happiness from this simple activity. As he falls in love with nature around him, he develops a curiosity to climb a tree and the hill opposite to his home. He is curious to know what lies over the hill and how it feels to be on top of it. Hence, he tries to trek to the top and succeeds in his first attempt. Then he closes his eyes to meditate for sometime. It feels absolutely better than meditating in the temple as there are no people on the top. So, he makes it a routine to trek to the top of the hill everyday in the morning after visiting the temple.

As it’s the rainy season, one day, he finds a big cloud in the shape of an ellipse over the hill. It looks similar to the Linga present in the temple. It is dark and thundering frequently. When he looks at the cloud, he finds it more interesting to see the Linga in the sky and is curious to reach there and observe closely. He feels that the Linga that he can see in the sky is more powerful than the one present in the temple. So, he treks to the top of the hill and tries to reach closer. But, the cloud moves away due to winds. The boy finds it disappointing for not being able to reach closer. So he returned home with disappointment. He is moody and dull. When his mother asked him to come for dinner, he said he wanted to skip it. He just wants to be alone and does not want to speak to anyone. Then his mother inquired about what happened. What made him so upset? Then he told his mother that he wants to get close to Lord Shiva. But he is evasive. His mother felt concerned and happy at the same time. Then she made him sleep on her lap and told him about Lord Shiva. She also told him about the nature of Shiva and how to reach closer to him based on her own experience. That night was the most crucial night of his life. It cleared many questions of his mind and paved the way for knowing the truth. Then slowly he slides into sleep. In his dream, he finds that the Shiva Linga is drawing everything into itself with tremendous force, not sparing any, including himself. He went inside and went deep at the speed of light. There is a lot of noise as everything is whirling at astronomical speed. As he is going deep inside, the noise and turbulence subsiding slowly. Finally, he reached a place where there is absolute silence and immobility. He went around to find something, but in vain. There is absolute nothingness. In this place, there is no dimension of time as there is no present, past and future. Every atom, if it exists, is still like a rock on the hill. The boy is scared of this deathly silence. He murmured, “Is this Lord Shiva?” He did not dare to ask this question aloud as he did not want to disturb the ambience of absolute silence. Being in that place for some time, he lost the thought of himself completely. The thoughts are slowly fading away. His body is slowly disintegrating into atoms and they are slowly disappearing into the enormous void existing there. Finally, “the observer becomes the observed”!

Is this enlightenment? He again whispered to himself, but he had no clue about his physical body anymore. He is terrified about the state of nothingness! And finally, the sense of “He” is no more. He wants to feel his body again and get back to life. As he is a small boy, he had many ambitions in life. And also he wanted to do many things in life, like getting married, having children..etc. But, nothing was achieved until now, so he does not want to die now. He prayed to God to save him and give back his life. The feeling of nothingness is palpable but the witness is not there.

Then after a while, he feels that he is at the center of earth. Then, slowly he starts to feel his body. As he is moving at the speed of light, he reached the floor of the ocean (water), which is also absolutely silent like before. So, he did not want to experience “nothingness “ again! So, he kept on moving! He reached the surface of the ocean and went up to the Sun. It’s a huge ball of fire. Out of curiosity, he went deeper into the Sun to reach its center. Again, there exists the “nothingness” which was present in centers of Earth and Ocean. Then he went out of the Sun and headed towards the center of the universe, from where everything else was getting created and destroyed. There was a void SPACE, which was responsible for the creation of the world. This material, “that which is not” is also named as Lord Shiva. 

Suddenly, he felt that there was a movement on his forehead, so he quickly opened his eyes, to find that his mother is caressing him so that he will be normal again. He felt so relieved after looking at his mother. He did not remember when he slept and he could not remember what was there in his dream, but he just knew that he was dreaming! He tried to recollect the events from his dream, but in vain. So, he could not tell anything about it to his mother. But, his disappointment vanished eventually and he felt rejuvenated after experiencing bliss. And he lived there ever after.

Shiva is a formless state of the Universe, ‘that which is not’!

Shiva, ‘that which is not’

Om Namah Shivaya!

Listen to this story on Spotify at https://anchor.fm/dashboard/episode/e1okln9

Picture credits: http://www.pixabay.com